David Vincent, Club President, and noted Beez sound-alike, said that despite Reece's relocation, the fan club is staying put. "We are quite proud of Beasley's past accomplishments and his new efforts. We, of course, wish him the best in all that he does. However, we have to look out for the club's interests, as well as the nterests of his million strong fan base. The main interest of the club is that we remain as close as possible to its fan base, and of course, that is right here in Nebraska."

Vincent also commented that negotiations were in the works to allow Reece and play-by-play partner Don Criqui to bump the Michaels-Gifford-Dierdorf team from ABC's Monday Night Football. A deal is also in the works to give Reece an exclusive two-hour halftime special during the Heritage Bowl, thus canceling the famous - 'Battle of the Bands'. Vincent said the two moves would allow Beasley's popularity to rival that of legendary basketball player Michael Jordan, and phenom golfer Eldrick 'Tiger' Woods.

When asked about Dan Dierdorf's color commentary on Monday Night Football, Reece remained tight-lipped before breaking down and saying, "My expert analysis makes him look stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopid!! Once I surpass that fatass in the broadcasting world, you will need a corvette....no, check that, a nuclear missile to get him back to my level. I will be like broad jumper Carl Lewis and juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuump past that lisping bastard."

Marketing Coordinators Keith Mann and the Brothers Diekmann, Matt and Scott, have reportedly designed a line of Beasley Reece memorabilia, to be test marketed this fall in five Nebraska communities: York, Lincoln, Omaha, Springfield and one undisclosed location.

Reece has made himself a star of astronomic proportions after coming out of relative obscurity in the fall of 1995. He made himself known on the national scene with his now famous broadcast of now-unemployed Steve Bono's 76-yard TD run versus the Arizona Cardinals. Here is his call, word-for-word:

Criqui: Bono around end, there's nobody home!

--------------Reece takes over--------------

Beez: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ................HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Boy oh boy, Steve Boooooooooooooonoooooo and the Kansas City Chiefs are making the Arizona Cardinals look stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopid!!!!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ................HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

"You know Don, what I really liked about that play was how far he ran to score that touchdown."

This is only an example of the Beez's fine work as a color commentator. Look for him, and Mr. Criqui, on a television near you this Sunday.

Part 1 of a 3 part series...